Q: Dear Kimberly
I'm
a single woman currently dating two men, which I'm enjoying the company
of both. Is it possible to be in love with two people at the same time?
Anomalously Dating Plus 1
A:
That's a great question to ask, I'm sure you feel tide between the two
of them. While you may have feelings for both of the men, that's a very
strong statement to make that you think you love them both. What you're
feeling may be a combination of attraction mixed with confusion
because you aren't allowing yourself to be connected to just one. Trying
to balance two relationships at the same time ones emotions can easily
get misconstrued for something stronger, and in the end not a fair trade
to yourself or the gentlemen. I recommend taking an assessment of your
real feelings by writing five reasons for each on why you love them. I
want you to truly take sometime to come up with five answers of
substance verses surface. I.e: Martin is attractive. (That's a surface
answer, not substance). Get down to the core of character qualities.
Upon completion, please follow these 3 Steps (1) Read once. (2) After
reading place aside for three or more days, but no longer than five.
(3) On day three re-visit your answers. I guarantee you once you place
your thoughts on paper things will become crystal clear.
Many
think love is a feeling, however its an action that requires the 3C's:
Character, Communication, and Commitment. The 3C's require
participation by two and UN-balanced if only one is contributing. Try
to get pass what you're feeling, because that is clouding your
judgment. Things that make us feel good aren't necessarily good for us,
take the emotions out of it so you understand what the true feelings are
for both gentlemen. After all is said and done and you still have
strong feelings for both, the next step is be honest with both men, as
they should have the option to decide if they want to continue dating
you as well. Many are confused by the word dating; the definition has
different meaning for many. Keep in mind both guys may very well know
that you're seeing them both, but on the other hand they may not. These
goes back to the 3C's "Character" is important in a relationship, if you
have none, you can't expect to receive it in return.
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